REAL TALK

So, Carrie and I have been discussing our interactions with the men at the tire shop on the corner. It's been interesting to say the least. Carrie has a theory, "They don't like 'Vanilla'" is the general theory. :-) Completely hilarious to just laugh and talk about race relations in our home. It's always fun, open, and honest. But as we laugh and joke about the men on the corner that seem to flirt with Romona (the darkest one of us three) and not Nikki or Carrie (the 'lighter' ladies) we begin to pray and seek God about how to really engage our neighbors in a Christ-centered way, whether they are lustful or not. The flirtatious hispanic men on the corner up the street is just one of many things we exchange thoughts about in our weekly conversations. Here's one for you all to ponder on. It actually just happened today. I'll call this one "The adventure of CTA". Trust me. The adventures on Chicago's public transportation NEVER end! There's always a story. Here's mine for today (October 30, 2009)
On the green line headed downtown to switch my license from IN to IL when I realize I left my ID at home. Grrrrr!!! I am quite ticked off with myself as I get on the train headed BACK home. So...my attitude wasn't the greatest as I sat on the train texting my roomies about my absent-mindedness and the time it's going to cost me today. Then there's this annoying music blasting on the El train car coming from this black man's Ipod/Phone (I'm not tech savy so I don't know what the thing was! all I know is it was playing loud music!) Before I could politely ask him to turn it down, an older white man begins cussing at him saying "Turn your music down! I don't wanna hear your GD music....turn your F*&(*Dn music down you a**!(@le" excuse the language...tried to censor that as much as I could here. The black guy (had to be about 30 years old) proceeds to cuss back at the older white man and turns the music up. To make matters worse, two younger black guys start rappin' along to the song that's blasting from his little device. They begin cussing back at the older white man as well. Saying "F you old man! Turn that up dawg!" They continue to nod their heads to the music, loudly rapping along to it, all while making 'I-dare-you-to-say-something-else' faces at the older white man. I am sitting right across from the black guy who has the music device. Ironically, I was just about to ask him to turn his music down when all this went down (as I stated earlier). I decided to try to ease the tension and just ask him to do so politely. I asked him to turn down his music, told him I knew that old white guy was bogus to come at him the way he did but in fact what he was doing was disrespectful and against the rules of CTA. I told him if I had headphones I'd let him use them and asked again, "Could you please just turn it down man...you are being real disrespectful and distracting and we are all just trying to get where we gotta go in peace, you know?" So, he basically tells me "F you too" in not so many words and explained that he wished I'd asked him before the other guy started cussing at him. Now he was in such a defiant mood he could care less who asked him to turn it down at this point. :-( Unfortunate...because if you combine Romona's "I want people to be quiet and respectful while on CTA" mood with his "F THE WORLD" mood it equals quite a charged up ride on the green line today. so...here's what I did. I got off the car on the next stop and walked up to the driver at the first car of the train and asked him to come to my car and tell this guy to turn down his music so there won't be any more trouble on our train. The driver appeases me, comes to the car, and as he walked in people are starting to cuss at the guy with the music just telling him to turn it down so we all could keep moving. (By this time the train had completely stopped just outside of the Loop) The man looked at me with such disdain. He was obviously pissed off...but so was I. I told him, "Look, I asked you nicely but you just wanna be ignorant so now He (The Driver) is asking you and telling you TURN IT OFF, PLEASE!" The CTA driver threatened to call the police, but I humbly asked that we not turn it into all of that. I just wanted these men to know that they are making this difficult for all of us on the car and they don't represent themselves, they represent me (as a black woman) too. I wanted them to understand the level of disrespect and stereotypes they were feeding into. I was being myself...REBEL-ROUSING, FIST IN THE AIR, FIGHT THE POWER, SISTAH SOULJAH!!!
And you know what?
I was being selfish too.
I wanted quiet on the train, but who cares what I want? What about what God wanted in this interaction today? As the tensions died down and the train got moving again the man turned his music right back on, just as loud as before. He gave me a look. I looked back at him. I said, "For real??" He said, "Yea...FOR REAL". I left my seat and sat right next to him and asked his name. He cussed at me and wouldn't tell me. I told him my name and quietly introduced myself after apologizing for going to get the CTA driver. I explained to him that before I am anything, I am a Christian and I love God and I love his people. I also told him that I had been through a rough morning and I needed to have a little peace on my ride back to the crib today. He told me he had a rough day to. He said he had a little baby girl that he was trying to take care of and he had been in court today. He said "Don't nobody give a F about me...don't nobody care. So F all-a-ya'll. F it!!" I looked him square in the eyes and said, "Well 'everybody' is looking at your right now and saying I DO CARE. I'm not about just helping myself. I'm talking to YOU right now and trying to explain that you WERE being disrespectful. Could you help a sistah out and just turn it down? At least until my stop... please?" After a few more exchange of words, he agreed to turn it down until we got to my stop. I shook his hand, thanked him, and told him I sincerely appreciated it.
One thing I have to note about this interaction is the fact that when I told this man that I was a Christian and I loved God he interjected and said, "I love the Lord too!!" Understand me when I say I wasn't judging him, but as a Christian I'm quite sure that we don't play music with lyrics such as "Get Money! F that B&%*h! You a H0!" loudly on a public train, defiantly cuss out others on the train, and still claim to be a lover of a most Holy and matchless God.
Or do we??
I was challenged today.
It was an intense El-train ride that ended rather ambiguously.
No, I didn't lead the man to Christ.
No, I didn't correct him on his behavior and obvious disrespect.
No, I didn't even get to invite this brotha who said he "loved the Lord" to my church for this Sunday.
I left that train feeling like, "Lord, where are your people? Are we the ones blasting secular music and cussing out our neighbors while saying we love you? Where is THE CHURCH?"
I pray that my peaceful discussion with the beligerent man had some small impact.
And I just pray when I'm on the CTA daily.
I'm just praying and living for God ya'll. Just hoping it will make a difference, one interaction at a time.

PEACE